Holistic Dating / Take 1
By: Sereda Aleta Dailey
Tags: 2012, Advice, children, Dating, destiny, divine being, divorced, Facebook, family, finance, First Dates, Home, information, Interpersonal relationship, journey, karma, lifepath, love, love relationships, lying, Manual transmission, Online dating service, Parent, Qigong, Relationships, research, Romance, single, single parent, They (2002 film), untrue
I am sure we all can agree on one thing here before i get into this dating article. We all have so much in common, like most of us were taught to respond to life according to the advice of our parents or other adults or even siblings or perhaps an older friend. It is true-
We know there was no master manual on how to be a parent. How many of us have stories to share about that, no matter what some may think about their upbringing overall, the people in charge did the best they could with what they knew.
Parenting and teaching the youth is a HUGE job, however some adults gladly signed up to make a baby or babies. Some planned it and some did not. After they had their children they still had no manual on how to raise a child. They relied on their overall experiences to pass on what they knew to be right or wrong. The manual for dating was never written for anyone else either. Then again, you can say it was written, as new book is published on a regular basis. This is true regarding the manual on parenting as well. Books are written by people with personal experiences and perceptions usually.
Due to the level of ’manuals’ out there, one would wonder why there are issues in the dating world. With no commitment or long term plans between two people how can there be any issues at all? With all the knowledge men and women have available to them how can they not know what works or doesn’t work in the dating arena?
As funny as it sounds, that is the reality in the world. Two people with no connection to one another financially or any other…These persons have misunderstandings, large and small issues, the same story-
Dating can be a delightful journey if its done in a certain way. The problem is that we are all a bit different in what we prefer, want or say we need from our potential future mate. There are some details that run people off from dating. They even call the dating scene a mess. Not caring to deal with all the dating surprises and festivities- some people have chosen never to date or if they do it’s on a rare occasion.
For one thing, everyone is bringing with them the teachings of someone they grew up with , who had their own experiences. You have never met that person who influenced them, may never meet them either and the source of your dating interests dating knowledge or lack there of.. may have learned nothing about dating. So here is this person you are interested in who knows nothing about dating. Alright let’s just say the person you are interested in learned about dating, If they did, they have not met you yet, right..lol. That’s a favorite line these days.
It is funny, people do not think about the research they should do before stepping out into the dating scene. ONE to find out about what it is they want, and TWO to see what traits, characteristics, looks, values, etc…they want in their potential future lover. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with dating without looking for love at all. It is fine. Casual is great. No pressure. But we will need a game plan at some point.
There are old school teachings that can assist us right now with relating to others’ in my opinion. I’m forever young. However, every year i still get older (age wise) anyway. In the time that it has taken me to get to the age i am now- I have seen life from a different perspective. Others’ single folks have too. Especially after embracing the two things i listed above. (Read# Points One and Two in CAPS)
We cannot expect to know what we are getting into if we do not do our homework and research. I mean if you only want a warm body in your bed then you can just jump right in to dating without any ground work and you will still have the same 50/50 chance of having success even in that fast moving department. So with the chances being 50/50 for those who do not do the research before going out with someone for something as simple as dinner- how can we expect anything of quality at all from out interactions with anyone?
Mmmm I don’t know?
Yea i know.
Why should we take our time? Here is a reason. Lying (NOT TELLING THE TRUTH) tops the list on why dating can be perceived as a mess some folks care not to deal with. Hey i feel you. After being told some untrue information repeatedly by a stream of people back to back, there may be months, years or weeks between the multiple people doing the lying. Why even bother? Some say.
Who is doing the lying? Too many to name, apparently. From my research, lying in the midst of dating can come from either a man or woman. This has always been true. We all have a choice, some choose to tell a lie. Karma may not phase them either. And for some, they could care less about the returned energy of their actions. The real question is… Why lie at all? That’s the billion dollar question. Maybe these people just need healing. This is a part of the inner work that should be done before we look for a long term relationship.
I am grateful that I have knowledge of qi gong and the 5 organ profile system. I am ever thankful for the understanding that people are sick (unbalanced health wise) over all and do not even know it. Once i learned qi gong and the 5 organ system and how it plays a role in why people say they will do something, want to do things but lack the vitality to do them. Afterwards, i changed my dating tune completely. I know the signs to look for now. What signs am i looking for? Well i personally want to raise a family one day with a big strong man by my side. I want healthy children as well. For this to happen the man must be healthy (vital) too.
This is just an example of one thing one may have on their list of things they want in a potential mate. This potential mate has to start off as a date basically. Also, in my experience they should become a friend before the relationship comes. An elder once said this, if you and your mate ever break up, you will at least have a friend in them. The benefit of making a friend before getting into a relationship with someone benefits us all the way around. A friend is great to have in a mate, i find that balance naturally comes after a friendship has been established with someone. After we have a friend, the possibilities are endless indeed.
There is so much to write on the subject of dating that i will continue this post in several parts. Summing up tonight’s post and what its about…Thus far, I have written about the importance of patience and friendship before making any possible regretful moves that we have not planned for ourselves. Waiting never hurt in the name of love. Why rush?
Thanks for reading this. Comments are welcome as always. <3~Bliss to you~
Sereda~ The Bliss Goddess
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